Of bitches, bums, bummers and BTP

That would summarise my last hostel nite. The bitches who were sitting just behind me on the chairs, booing our toasts. Maybe it's just me being gutless, resorting to a resounding FUCK YOU on my blog instead of just showing them the finger on any of the umpteen times I pass them in the corridors. (I wanted to scream Biiiaatch at the beginning of each of their toasts but was half scared they might like it. Plus had a few friends knock some sense into me) And as much as I pride myself on being downright nasty when required, I'd never get myself to be as mean as them on that night. Anyway, screw them, there's a special place in Bitch Hell for them.

Next, the bums. The guys who pander to the bitches. Slimy greaseballs. (one of them literally too-comes with oiled hair partitioned in the middle, to dote on girlfriend dearest daily) To all the bums-grow a pair! On second thoughts, if it didn't happen in twenty odd years, doubt it'll happen now.

Anybody from the school boards reading this? I recommend spoken English classes in junior school, where you learn accent and syllables and the like. So that when you go up on stage to read something you don't make a complete mess of it, disappointing the people who put their blood, sweat and tears(pretty literally) into writing the material. This is getting to be a rant, isn't it? I promise you it gets better. But seriously, were the two of you that dumb to be unable to distinguish the points from the complete sentences? Couldn't you make out which were the connecting sentences? You know the ones which if you leave, the paragraph makes no sense at all. Oh bummer!

And to undergo all this torture with that voice in the back of my head going off every two minutes about how my BTP coordinator was going to have my blood the next day. "A few hours more, a few hours more." The execution was eventually put off by a day but that feeling of impending doom is never pleasant, is it?

Which hostel nite is complete without booze? The all venerated spirit to which 400 odd people submit on 10 different (really?) occasions, making complete idiots of themselves and even more later. (Hahaha! That's the Dean laughing) Nothing will come of it but I can always live in the hope that my ex will continue his 'wild' days here because of the soup everyone is in.

Love you guys for choosing to remain de-'spirited' on our hostel nite. It'd never make sense to me how being unconscious adds to enjoyment of one's surroundings! (Knock, knock - unconscious, surroundings? Never mind!) Anyway, my last hostel nite was supposed to be of buddies. And in the broader perspective of things, it was of buddies. The bitching about each other to a third saying so-and-so has done no work whatsoever on the video, getting bummed out when there was no light to shoot, cracking our heads open for ideas for the video, writing and rewriting toasts till every sentence was perfect, the last minute searches for songs, the speeded up editing process, the insane hours, the racing tempers, what has become a common occurrence now -crashing in one room, heart-to-hearts in the wee hours of the morning, rifling through pics since first year and getting 'arbitly senti'and post hostel nite - watching the same video a gazillion times, each time asserting that ours was indeed the best.(Whoever said bitching about a third, doesn't bring two girls closer was so wrong!)

Will miss you guys. Yeah, yeah this is the same Freespirit talking. No attachments and all but after you stay with someone for four years, you do bond right? Don't probe so, blogger, I have convinced myself it's ok to miss these guys without thinking of myself as a sentimental fool. But since you remain so unconvinced about what precious gems they be, I'll elaborate.

My Wing:

From Left to Right: Dopey, Bashful, Sneezy, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy and Doc

Dopey: The littlest and sweetest and silliest of the seven. Oh, how I hit on her. Will miss fighting with Doc for you, our constant resolve to attend G slot,the initial enthusiasm and the eventual packing, the last minute mug, the post quiz blues. Sigh girl! Thank God we didn't do more courses together!

Grumpy: The grouchiest and most curmudgeonly of the group. Not really true though she looks 'pained' practically all the time. The most enthusiastic amongst us. If you're thinking sports and stuff- no, no-to play literature and contraptions and climb the water tower. My roomie of two years and room neighbour for two more, learnt a good deal of patience from her. She's been a constant factor in all my humanities courses, doubt I'll ever forget our German mug on weekends with Happy. Sorry we forgot movie-making in your toast, girl -hope this makes up for it. Picked up more than patience from you, this post is witness.

Doc: The only one of the dwarfs to wear glasses (so presumably the most intellectual) Yeah right!! The self-proclaimed brain with the hole! She gets to be Doc cos of the innumerable times I've just parked myself in her room venting my sob stories. How she put up with my relentless and boring love life I really wonder. I hope it's ok to be jealous of one of your bestest friends (for all the right reasons of course) Just imagine my phone bills next year if I've to call you up every time my heart skips a beat. Muuah...will miss you tons! *sob sob*

Happy: The most rotund of the dwarfs; wears a brownish two-tone tunic. Wrong! Is the most rotund of the dwarfs but wears a furry pink bathrobe. The person to run to, to calm you down and help you think straight, the person to crib to (always being careful to choose the right time lest she start cribbing too) The only one I've probably never lost my temper with. (yeah, yeah remember the two occasions this sem, bad boy Drama!) I'm sure nobody's achieved lesser than us with our jogging efforts but here's to sticking to schedules!

Sleepy: This dwarf wears a perpetually sleepy looking, heavily lidded expression on his face. Though we've drifted further apart since first year, still one of my closest chums. You've put things in perspective even without you realising it, I guess. That thing about Trouble and me, thanks a lot, got me to quit whining and move on.

Bashful: This dwarf evokes his bashful nature through a classic pose of shyness. Far from shy, you get to be Bashful because all the other names were taken. (I sneeze more than you..sorry!) From arch rivals (though we pretended otherwise) to close pals, ours is a relationship people gawk at, NO WAY a newbie, my partner in talking 'shady' and pulling off PDND-like stunts, let's keep doing that to people, shall we?

Sneezy: Frequently shown with one finger underneath his nose, as if trying to stifle a sneeze. Lastly, humble me - the proverbial beggar (the only one to give me remote competition is Happy), the archetypal madman (no competition there)..enough about me, you already know me!

Missing from the above is Polymer, my placement mate -Good fortune all your life, girl.

We saw reds after hostel nite (instead of blues) with Doc scribbling on all our doors. Doubt we'll ever get to dress up like we always do-in a panic stricken, God-help-our-later-than-ever-asses again, or run to each other's side for relationship counseling, or put movie night-outs with Happy blissfully asleep, or make plans to watch the sunrise at the beach which we all know will never materialise or just sit in Doc's room and gossip. To the fun filled gang that we are!
Heigh Ho! *Clink*



P.S. The description in italics of each dwarf is the one Walt Disney provided. Man, were you wrong!

P.P.S. I wanted to write the toasts for you guys, that's what I think I do best. Hope you liked them and extremely sorry if they were a disaster.