This past weekend, 2 dear friends told me how much I've grown in the last year. I'm inclined to believe them. I also believe my new haircut has contributed a lot to the growth. :) As I approach this weekend, I wonder if much has changed from Chennai to Chicago.
My final year in college was seminal. So much so that at times I wonder if I treat my college memories unfairly by choosing to remember just the final year. The really long and taxing internship search last year, the result of which has exceeded all expectations, made me more grateful about college and all opportunities presented and seized. I love those 5 seconds every Saturday morning, at the start of Yoga practice, when I can express my gratitude for my life. (and set a target for my practice - damn you crow pose!)
I write this a month before beginning my final year in business school. Possibly, my final year in school for a while. In retrospect, I have made my peace with how college turned out. However, I do want business school to be better. Every time my mum says I've never harmed a soul, I want to have no doubts to the contrary. Final year may have something to do with those doubts. Last week, I grappled with myself in trying to determine whether I was making the same mistake again. It frustrates me that I don't know. I have struggled to accept my prior mistake and deal with the subsequent guilt and dilemma of being unable to apologize post realization. I'm not a fan of making mistakes ever since.
However, I made my choice last weekend based on the hope that I have grown since Chennai five years ago and that there is some truth to what Nana said. I don't know how this choice will play out but I am not one to shirk duty and will pay the price either way. Having said that, I would also like to say that I am filled with as much dread about recruiting now as I was in Chennai.
On a separate note, I have a tendency to name everything I own. My slippers at one point of time were called 'Protection'. My yoga mat is called Blue Jr. Blue Sr., or Blue the 1st, as he prefers to be called was the beautiful FabIndia towel I owned in the final years of college. My I-pod is called The Joey. I started calling my I-pad Joey v2 but that's going to change. I had the most elaborate pet names in college. My roommate last year asked me why all these names are western. I honestly don't know. But moving on, my humidifier is called Mrs. Fat Lee or MFL for short. My pillows are the King, Queen and Jack of Hearts and my new blanket is called Ew. (because it doesn't compare to my old smelly, warm one, which was called Blankie). Oh, and I also hate mirrors.
My final year in college was seminal. So much so that at times I wonder if I treat my college memories unfairly by choosing to remember just the final year. The really long and taxing internship search last year, the result of which has exceeded all expectations, made me more grateful about college and all opportunities presented and seized. I love those 5 seconds every Saturday morning, at the start of Yoga practice, when I can express my gratitude for my life. (and set a target for my practice - damn you crow pose!)
I write this a month before beginning my final year in business school. Possibly, my final year in school for a while. In retrospect, I have made my peace with how college turned out. However, I do want business school to be better. Every time my mum says I've never harmed a soul, I want to have no doubts to the contrary. Final year may have something to do with those doubts. Last week, I grappled with myself in trying to determine whether I was making the same mistake again. It frustrates me that I don't know. I have struggled to accept my prior mistake and deal with the subsequent guilt and dilemma of being unable to apologize post realization. I'm not a fan of making mistakes ever since.
However, I made my choice last weekend based on the hope that I have grown since Chennai five years ago and that there is some truth to what Nana said. I don't know how this choice will play out but I am not one to shirk duty and will pay the price either way. Having said that, I would also like to say that I am filled with as much dread about recruiting now as I was in Chennai.
On a separate note, I have a tendency to name everything I own. My slippers at one point of time were called 'Protection'. My yoga mat is called Blue Jr. Blue Sr., or Blue the 1st, as he prefers to be called was the beautiful FabIndia towel I owned in the final years of college. My I-pod is called The Joey. I started calling my I-pad Joey v2 but that's going to change. I had the most elaborate pet names in college. My roommate last year asked me why all these names are western. I honestly don't know. But moving on, my humidifier is called Mrs. Fat Lee or MFL for short. My pillows are the King, Queen and Jack of Hearts and my new blanket is called Ew. (because it doesn't compare to my old smelly, warm one, which was called Blankie). Oh, and I also hate mirrors.
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