Bridezilla and Philippedes

Hells yeah, I get to be a Bridezilla till December 8, 2016 - the day of my second wedding reception. Yes, that is right, SECOND. As I watched my skinny, athletic friends get married over these last 10 years, during which they progressively became less skinny and/or athletic, my resolve for wedding day was simple - to be super smoking hot. It's the competitive Fat Girl in me. And no, I can't shut this one up with cookies. Fat Girl has been in existence nearly as long as I have, edging out Skinny Bitch with the bikini bod for all but six years of my life. *Figaro counts the years off his paws and vigorously nods head in agreement*

So, earlier this year, when The Boy and I decided to finally make honest people of each other and called a meeting of the families (no bloodshed miraculously),  I jumped into full-on panic mode because Fat Girl was ruling with Skinny Bitch confined to the darkest part of the body image dungeon. Project Bikini Bod, Project BB for short, was kicked off in April and after a month of no progress was truly galvanized on May 25, 2016 with a starting weight of 147 lbs. The goal, dare I dream it, was 120 lbs. by wedding day; 115 if I dreamed big. No small. Wait, no big - this is just an expression, not a representation of my physical self. *Figaro confirmed it is big but he also smirked. Twisted* 

OTF Birmingham was the Theseus to my Minotaur-like Skinny Bitch. No, Figaro reminds me that analogy does not work. Theseus beheaded the Minotaur and fled the Labyrinth. Skinny Bitch had to be freed from the Labyrinth-like body image dungeon. Hmm. Knight in shining armor then? Yes.

OTF Birmingham was my knight in shining armor. Interrupting again, are we, Figaro? How about the ones that came after OTF Birmingham - Equinox, Sarah, Chris? And the strong foundation laid by the ones before? Too many knights in shining armor. All these knights played their part though and as of today, I am 8 lbs. shy of my small goal. I think it's safe to assume the big goal is out of reach.

Let's forget the knights for a minute and talk about Philippedes. Yes Figaro, he is the same dude who ran the first Marathon from Athens to Sparta to ask the Spartans for help when the Persians tried to conquer Athens. Now stop interrupting me. Where was I? Ah yes, I am going to Be My Own Philippedes, running to the knights for help whenever Fat Girl tries to throw Skinny Bitch in the dungeon. *Figaro says I love Greek mythology too much. Perhaps*

The plan to Be My.... is simple. According to this insightful article, one should lift heavy weights 2-3 times a week and perform high intensity interval training 2-3 times a week. This to me translates into the following:
3 days/week - heavy weight training
2 days/week - HIIT
2 day/week - cardio + abs
1 day/week - restoration
Yes, I am a Beatles fan. I believe in exercising 8 days a week.

But this is Bridezilla time and on summoning my inner Philippedes, workout schedule translates to:
M/W/F - Cardio warm-up + PT
Th - Yoga
Tu/Sa - HIIT
W - Spinning (Endurance)
Th/Su - Spinning (Interval)
Sa - Cardio Kickboxing

8lbs to go. All be damned if they are not gone by Bridezilla's end. Ugh. That can't be my fight song. What's that? Oooh...excellent suggestion Figaro.

Keep Calm And Say Ganpati Bappa Morya. THAT is my fight song. *mic drop*